Is My Life Controlled by Destiny?

Is my life controlled by destiny, a predetermined destiny, or whatever happens in my life is just by chance? Can I control my life by my actions? Let us explore this and then you can draw your own conclusions.

On June 23, 1985, an Air India flight 182 departed from Montreal for London with 339 passengers and crew aboard. The 329 people included infants, children, adults as well as seniors, belonging to different cities in Canada. Flight 182 disintegrated mid-air over Atlantic ocean due to a bomb explosion killing all 329 people. Is it a chance or coincidence that 329 people were on the same flight or their destiny brought them on that flight to die? It seems difficult to digest that their actions brought them on that plane to die together.

When I look back at my life of 61 years, of which I remember about 56 years, it appears that my life is being controlled by a predetermined destiny. Let me tell you a simple incident that took place in the early 1980s. I used to work at a company in New Delhi in 1981–1982, and one of my colleagues was C T Subrahmanium. Subrahmanium left that company to work for another company in Chennai, located about 2000 KM from New Delhi. I also left that company to work for the Government of India, and we were not in touch with each other. (There was no Internet or social media in those days!) In 1985, I went on a business trip to Bangaluru (Bangalore), the silicon valley of India. On the same day, Subrahmanium was also sent by his company to Bangaluru for an official assignment. After finishing my work, I decided to visit a small store to buy a T-shirt in the evening. Subrahmanium also decided to buy something and visited the same store exactly at the same time, and we were astonished to see each other! Would you call this a pure coincidence or our destiny brought us together to meet? To me, it looks like it was the destiny’s play.

Okay, if you are still not convinced, let me tell you another story from my life. After passing grade 8 of my middle school with excellent marks in India, it was time to pick subjects for the higher secondary school. In those days, there were three options: Science, Commerce and Arts. Usually, top students choose Science so that they can study medicine or engineering in university. However, my parents were a little ignorant about the available study options. Besides, my father incorrectly believed that studying science would cost a lot of money which he would not be able to afford. So, I was asked to study Commerce subjects in Grade 9. However, Ashok Sexana, one of my school friends from grade 8 was sure that Science subjects would be more suitable for me, so he visited my house and convinced my parents that I should study science. Hence, I switched to the science steam, thanks to the efforts of my friend Ashok or my destiny!

Destiny in Control

Did I become a medical doctor or engineer?

In the last year of my school, my uncle visited us from Canada. My parents discussed options about my immigration to Canada with my uncle, who assured us that it would work out, and advised me not to study long duration courses like medicine or engineering, instead suggested that I study a short duration trade course. So in the end, I neither studied medicine nor engineering, in spite of the efforts of my school friend.

Fast forward three years — while I was still pursuing my studies, my uncle sponsored my application to immigrate to Canada, which got rejected. At the end, I neither became an engineer or doctor, nor could go to Canada. Don’t you feel that my destiny is controlling my life?

Life Continues

I completed my diploma course in Electronics and got a job in 1979 in DCM Data Products, India’s first computer manufacturing company. After acquiring very valuable experience of 2 years, I received an offer for a job from an IT startup Wipro Ltd, Bangaluru at double the salary I was getting at DCM Data Products. It was a lifetime opportunity for me as the IT industry was about to explode in India (Wipro is currently the 3rd largest IT company in India.) I resigned from DCM Data Products and started preparing for moving to Bangaluru. However, my destiny had something else stored for me. My father was about to retire from his low paying Government job in New Delhi and wanted me to stay in New Delhi to help the family after his retirement, therefore, at the last moment, just 3 hours before the departure of my train, I decided, or rather was forced to give up my dream job.

I Become Engineer

After losing my dream job, I found a job in a small company in New Delhi, self-studied for engineering, passed the required examinations and became an Engineer. Based on that qualification, I got a well paying job in a department of the Government of India.

In the mid 1980s, I wrote some technical articles which were published by a local magazine Electronics For You. This magazine publisher also used to occasionally publish electronics books. As I had built up a relationship with the magazine publisher, I wrote a book on dBASE III Plus and sent it to them hoping that they would publish it. After mailing the manuscript, when I returned to my office, I met my colleague and friend Ravi Chandran and told him about mailing the manuscript to Electronics For You. Ravi Chandran suggested that I approach Tata McGraw Hill Publishing, a division of McGraw Hill Education, the largest publisher of technical, engineering and IT books in India. I laughed at his suggestion as I thought that Tata McGraw Hill would never publish an IT book written by an unknown 26 years old person. However, he continued applying his friendly pressure, and at the end, I made another copy of my manuscript and dropped off at Tata McGraw Hill office. In a few months, my first book was published by Tata McGraw Hill — thanks to my friend Ravi Chandran. The publisher asked me to write more books, and in a few years, I became one of the best known authors of IT books in India. I also had a respectable, well-paying, secured and pensionable Government job. I got married and had two beautiful children, and owned a Maruti 800 car, which was not so common in 1990s. In a nutshell, I was enjoying a stable life in India.

Destiny is Still in Control

One day in late 1996, by chance I noticed an advertisement by the High Commission of Canada about Immigration to Canada. I attended the seminar, however I was not impressed by the prospects of moving to Canada. On the way out of the seminar hall, they handed over some printed material and an application form to apply for immigration to Canada. Next day, when I discussed the seminar with my colleagues, they told me that the application process is very complex and I need to hire a lawyer and pay about $5,000 to file the immigration application. I thought that the application process can’t be so complicated, so I decided to give it a try, of course without engaging any lawyer, and within a few months, my application to immigrate to Canada was approved.

I had no intention to immigrate to Canada, however after my application was approved, I decided to take leave of absence from my job for 6 months and experience life in Canada. Somehow, I convinced my wife, and we landed in Canada 1997, almost 20 years after my first immigration application was rejected!

Life was not bed of roses in Canada in the first year, however I was reluctant to return back to India, as I thought that in the back of my mind, I would keep thinking that I failed in Canada. So, I forgot my well paying secured Government job and prospect of writing IT books, and decided to start my life from scratch in Canada. Or, perhaps my destiny wanted me to leave that and start afresh in Canada.

I can describe 100s of examples from my life where destiny played a big role in shaping my life and that of my immediate family members, but I don’t want to make this post unnecessarily long.

Who Controls Destiny?

If destiny is controlling my life, who controls destiny?

There is no easy answer to this question. Some people say that God or the Creator or some unknown power decides or controls our destiny. According to many Indian religions and Taoism, our past karmas control our current life. Some people believe that our destiny or life is controlled by circumstances. Anyway, whatever power shapes our current life, one thing is certain that it is not in our control.

Can I Change my Destiny?

Some people believe that they can control their life or destiny through their actions. I can work hard, even 20 hours a day, but I may never become Bill Gates or Prime Minister of my country, or even CEO of my company. To achieve something, an action is required, but that alone is not enough.

Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 47

“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि”

“You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.”

Besides our actions, a lot of other factors, such as the efforts of others, environment, place, situation, destiny, cumulative karmas of the people involved, and so on, affect the outcome (fruits of actions).

Why Should I Care about Destiny?

One thing is sure that our life is not in our control. Our life can change without notice due to natural causes, such as floods, earthquakes, lightning, storms and pandemic, or man made causes such as accidents, robberies, shootings, terrorist activities or ups and downs in financial markets. If I keep blaming others or myself for whatever happened, is happening or will happen in my life, I can never be happy or at peace. On the other hand, if I truly believe that my life is not 100% in my control; all that is in my control are my actions, it opens the door to live in the present and be happy. So to be happy or at peace, we should continue to do the best that is in our control without worrying about the results, as it may not be according to our expectations. Let’s put it another way — live in the present moment, which alone is in our control; the past can’t be changed and the future is unknown!

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