What to be Happy? Focus on Yourself, not Others
Do you know that one of the top reasons that keeps you unhappy is that you keep comparing yourself with others? And, the worst part is that you will often compare yourself with those that are better off (as per society’s norms) than you, e.g. having more money, bigger house, fancier car(s), better designation, etc. Even the slightest hint that someone might go ahead of you makes you stressed, and you will do your best to go ahead of that person. Let me give you an example: you are driving your car on a highway and someone tries to pass you. Have you noticed that as soon as you find that someone is trying to pass you, you start increasing the speed of your car? And, if that person manages to pass your car, you try to pass that person as soon as possible. In your subconscious mind, you don’t want anyone to go ahead. But, do you know that there will always be someone ahead of you? Do you think that while driving on a highway, you can reach a spot where no car will be ahead of you? You continue to drive your car at your own comfortable speed, and let others drive at their own speed. Why should it bother you if they go faster? At the end, everyone will reach the destination, one might reach a few minutes earlier!
When I was in India, in the 1980s, there was a very popular TV advertisement in Hindi for a detergent bar Rin: “Bhala Uski Kameez Meri Kameez Se Safed Kaise”, which translates as “How is his shirt whiter than mine?”. Well, you are wearing a clean white shirt, why should it bother you if someone is wearing a whiter shirt. And we extend this comparison to everything. Let me give another example: I moved to Canada in 1997, and in 1999 bought a small 3 bedroom house I have been living in since then. My brother moved to Canada in 2002, bought his first house in 2003, second a few years later and the latest one, which is almost three times the size of my house, last year. Well, if my brother bought a bigger, lavish house for himself, why should it concern me if my house is good enough for my needs?
There are almost 8 billion people in the world. Do you know that your fingerprints are unique, and it is almost impossible that your fingerprints will match with another human? Every human in this world is unique with different IQ, skills, education, family background, environment, etc., and therefore, the concept that you should not fall behind others, is flawed. Communists tried to make all citizens have the same living standards and have failed. There is huge income inequality even in China, the largest communist country in the world. The world is not fair to everyone, and some people are either lucky or have unfair advantages due to their family background, culture, race or even skin colour. These people may become more “successful” or “prosperous”; however, if you have enough for your needs, why should it bother you or make you unhappy if others have more than you?
Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side
Everyone has one problem or the other that you don’t know. On social media, people always post good stuff — happy moments, beautiful travel destinations, birthdays, new home or new car pictures, etc. If your 10 years old car is running fine, why should it bother you if your friend or sister purchases a new car every 5 years? Why should you care whether your relatives go on vacation to Europe or Hawaii? Rather than focusing on what others do, focus on what you like or what gives you happiness. If you enjoy camping in a provincial park, you do that and let others go wherever they like to go for vacation. If you have enough for your needs, don’t bother if others have millions. You must live your life the way you want to live, not the way society or social media expects you to live. One suggestion: you may delete the Facebook app from your phone and iPad as it will help you stop looking at (and worrying about) what others are doing, and give you more time to focus on you and your needs.
Final Thoughts
Some people will always be ahead of you, ignore them. Everyone can’t be number one in every field, however, everyone has the potential to be the number one human being. Focus on yourself; be a good person to yourself and those around you and you will always be happy — if you waste your all your energy trying to go ahead of others, it will give you stress and make you and your family unhappy. Life is a journey, not a race, and it really doesn’t matter if others reach their destination early.
See Also: How to Live a Happy Life! 15 Lessons my Life Taught Me
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